Choice

In suffering there is silence: a lack of words to fully express,
a body that refuses to function,
and a mind terrified of its brain.

There is a disconnect:
a lack of union between consciousness, intuition, and the rooted sense of self.

Bodily sensations, once so normal and regulated,
take more effort
become frightening.

What once came so naturally,
slips through your grasp and leaves an ache no tears can fill.

I am lost as the winter that searches for a warm spring breeze,
longing for a wisp of control.

And yet, the illusion scatters as images in mirror shards, spectrums of light that filter and reflect across many surfaces until a picture is formed. One change in surface, one less fraction of light is enough to shift the reflection, change perspective.

I glimpse life as through a leaf, filtered through layers of brush until I rest gently on the ground. And although restless and disquieted from my branches, with time I will rejoin the earth, rejoin my roots and cause other seeds to grow.

For I feel stirrings of a yearning to be whole,
And purpose in the challenge to overcome.

With each decision made,
Another bud appears on the tree.
Another leaf grows and develops to its fruition.

And the temptation to flounder is left waiting at the edge of dusk.
Between that space in dreams,
Where your mind is free to wander,
Free to heal.
Free to love.

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