Lesson 2: Evoking the Power of Possibility

I’ve hesitated to continue working through the course Overcoming Fear and posting my workings online. Ironic, right? As the reason behind such a decision was, you guessed it… fear. 

Fear of exposing too much. Fear of sharing. Fear of judgement. 

But I’m through with that shit. Too much has happened.

It’s been about four months since I last posted. I had my D&C (just posted some of that experience earlier today), received the results (no cancer, thank goodness); however, I’m still considered as having a precancerous condition. Another endometrial biopsy is needed in January 2019 as prep for my hysterectomy to be scheduled in March/April 2019. My doctors thinks it’s my safest option and since I’m not having children I made the decision to go ahead with the procedure. 

A lot of personal stuff has come up from my decision. Questions surrounding my femininity and the meaning/reason behind these recent events including my reaction to health scares.

Getting diagnosed with a precancerous condition only added to my already heightened anxiety. Why was this happening to me? Wasn’t MS enough? Now I needed to worry about the possibility of cancer too? And at the rip old age of 37? 

Now, as if that weren’t enough, I’ve been told I’m prediabetic. I swear to Christ, the illness just keeps on coming, and I’ve fucking HAD it. 

I met with my PCP and she recommended a vegan diet to help with all of my issues, telling me there is strong evidence that it helps reverse/manage diabetes, heart disease, and improves cancer outcomes. She also told me it helps significantly with inflammation which can only help my MS. 

If this diet offers a lifeline, I will accept.

This will be a massive change. But I need to believe it will help. I need to believe in good outcomes.

So I choose to have faith

Courage Affirmation: It is safe for me to be courageous

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